


isak x even | dance so good

by WritenStuff



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Bittersweet, Dancing and Singing, Depression, M/M, One Shot, Singing, Slow Dancing, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-19 21:12:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9460571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritenStuff/pseuds/WritenStuff
Summary: When Isak happens upon Even out of bed in the first time in a few days, he decides to make the most of the moment.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a short in which Isak and Even dance but for some reason I always end up writing sad Even, so it turned out a little bittersweet. I hope you still enjoy. (:

Even's shoulders were slumped and his head hung low as he stood at the kitchen counter waiting for his grilled cheese to finish cooking. He'd just about managed to drag himself out of bed, the hunger pangs in his stomach the only thing close to motivation. He lifted his hand from where it rested on the worktop and rubbed his cheek. His skin felt wrong, stretched and papery across his bones. Numb. It was cold to the touch and Even wondered when the last time he'd truly felt warmth.

Intellectually he knew it hadn't been that long. Not with Isak around. Isak radiated warmth like the sun. Maybe not everybody noticed but Even did. He always had. Isak was the sun and Even was Icarus. He'd have burned just to get close. Thankfully his wings had remained intact so far and he hoped they'd stay that way. Even wanted to soar and bask in Isak's rays of light and warmth for as long as he could. For as long as Isak would let him.

Even's mind – being sure not to let him dwell on anything good for too long – cast back to the memory of the day in the locker room. That day was almost a constant weight in his heart because in the darkest recesses of his mind he wondered did Isak still feel that way. Would there come a day when this got too much for him? When Even got too much for him.

Every time Even had an episode he felt like he was one step further from Isak and one step closer to a cliff. At first he'd actively tried to hide them but on a good day it was exhausting and on a bad day it was just impossible. And if anything, the pretending was counter productive because it only drove a wedge between them anyway.

Isak had turned a corner in his life. He was committed to living authentically. That meant having a boyfriend that could be his authentic self too. When Isak had found out that Even had been trying to keep things from him he had taken it personally. How else was he supposed to take the fact Even was hiding his moods because he feared Isak would eventually not want to deal with them anymore? It didn't exactly show much faith in Isak or their relationship for that matter. It didn't show much faith in Even either.

Before Even had explained where his head was at, Isak had thought it was something he'd done wrong. Maybe he sucked at being there for Even in whatever way he needed during those times and that had led Even to hide them from him. Maybe Even didn't trust Isak to be able to handle it it. But no, it was worse than that. It hurt Isak more to know that Even hadn't thought that Isak couldn't handle it, it was the fact he thought Isak wouldn't _want_ to. That one day he'd get bored of the ups and the downs and want out.

_“I... I thought I was failing you. That I was fussing and being annoying instead of helping and that's why you hid things. That I wasn't handling things right but no... you thought I'm just some kid that would get bored and throw you away.”_

As long as he lived, Even would never forget the hurt in Isak's hazel eyes and the anger on his young features. It was just another thing he kept in his memory box of regrets that he'd use to taunt himself with on his darkest days. He had made Isak feel not good enough. As if not good enough was something Isak could ever be.

“Halla.”

Even's silent thoughts were interrupted by Isak's voice carrying from the door of the kitchen, where he leaned against the door frame casually. The corner of his lips were tipped up in a half smile. How long had he been standing there?

“Something burning?” Isak asked as he made his way to where Even stood and took a look in the grill. What would have been a perfectly good grilled cheese a couple of minutes ago was now well and truly charred. “Yeah, cardamom isn't going to save that.”

Even peered into the grill and grumbled to himself before using an oven mitt to retrieve the burnt remains of his toast. Isak was right, there was no saving it. He tossed it in the bin and turned to look at Isak, who was now leaning back against the kitchen counter, his arms folded in front of his chest. He raised his brows at Even, one of the small mannerisms they'd swapped since they'd been together. It was only then that Even realised he hadn't spoken since Isak had come in.

“Oh uh, how was school?” he asked, attempting to make conversation. It didn't come naturally to him when he was like this. Nothing came naturally to him when he was like this.

“It was school,” Isak replied with a small lift of his shoulders. “Magnus was asking about you... I swear that dude has a crush.”

A small smile spread upon Even's lips but it was non-committal. It didn't reach his eyes. He walked towards Isak and came to a stop in front of him. Isak unfolded his arms and reached up to smooth this thumb over where the smile lines beside Even's eyes usually lay. He then cupped Even's cheek as he gazed up at him, a soft sigh escaping his lips.

“It's good to see you up, ” Isak spoke quietly into the stillness of the room.

“Yeah. I was even going to eat,” Even replied, motioning towards the bin where his good intentions now lay.

Isak chuckled softly and moved to wrap his arms around Even's neck. The fingers of one of his hands curled into the worn fabric of Even's t-shirt, while the other gripped the soft strands of hair on the back of his head. Even's head stooped down and he laid soft kisses on each of Isak's cheeks before pressing their foreheads together. Isak hummed low in his throat, then rested his head down on Even's shoulder, holding his body close to his own.

Even's skin no longer felt wrong. There was no numbness where their bodies met, only warmth. Isak's warmth. It was like Isak could tell he needed to be enveloped in it, he needed to bask. Even slide his arms around Isak and pressed the palms of his hands against the small of his back. Turning his head, he gently nuzzled his nose against the soft curls escaping the maroon snapback that sat upon Isak's head. Even caught the faint scent of shampoo and something distinctly Isak. It was comforting.

Even held Isak a little tighter, a rush of emotion hitting him. He squeezed his eyes shut and dropped his head into Isak's neck. His lips brushed against the soft skin, causing Isak to shiver in his arms but Even made no move to leave kisses there.

Isak began to draw lazy shapes on Even's back with his finger tips, his other hand still tangled in his hair. A moment or two later the easy silence between them was broken when Isak sang quietly, his cheek still resting against Even's shoulder.

“I remember when you lost your head, sometimes I wonder how you stay so sad when you're so beautiful...”

Even's lips tipped up into a smile against the warm flesh of Isak's neck. Just then, Isak walked them back a little, away from the counter as he continued with the lyrics.

“And I remember every word you said. How you were scared because you'd never been somewhere so beautiful. You're so beautiful.”

As he sang, Isak began to sway with Even in his arms in time to the tune he was doing his best to carry.

“What are we doing?” Even whispered into the crook of Isak's neck, his voice muffled but still audible.

“Dancing,” Isak replied before carrying on with the song – one of their songs.

“So tell me why we're talking when we dance so good. So tell me why we're talking when we dance so good...”

Even started to hum the tune along quietly as Isak sang and they continued low dancing together in the middle of the kitchen, holding each other close. Isak tripped over lyrics here and there and left a couple out but it didn't matter. To Even his rendition was perfect.

At a certain part of the song, Isak lifted his head and feeling the movement, Even lifted his too. Isak cupped Even's cheeks in his hands as he stared up at him, their eyes meeting.

“...when you're so beautiful, so beautiful, so beautiful, so beautiful. So tell me why we're talking when we dance so good. So tell me why we're talking when we dance so good. And I know you can't stay but I wish you would, I wish you would.”

Even took a hand from where it clutched to the fabric of the back of Isak's t-shirt and placed it on his cheek, his thumb brushing over the cushion of Isak's bottom lip as he sang. He knew what Isak was doing, singing the words he wanted to say but didn't feel he could. It was something they often did with each other. It's not that they weren't comfortable discussing things but lyrics often just captured what they wanted to say better than they could articulate it.

Even turned his head and kissed the palm of Isak's hand before he leaned forward and pressed a reassuring kiss to Isak's lips. When Isak sang about wishing he could stay, Even knew he didn't mean it literally. It wasn't that Even was going anywhere, not physically at least. But the truth was this was the most present Even had been in the last few days and while it was a good sign he managed to drag himself out of bed and attempted to feed himself, they both knew he wasn't there just yet. That after this moment they had managed to conjure was over, Even would retreat to Isak's room and to his bed.

So Even folded Isak back into his arms and Isak clung to him in return and they held on to this moment, this glorious moment, for as long as they could.


End file.
